Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Lots of Changes in The Horizon
Lots of changes in the horizon for our family. One thing that is always constant is change. It has and obviously continues to be a crazy year.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Serioulsy, the nicest thing
Check out Pinky's Blog.. this is seriously one of the nicest things anyone's ever said about me. I really try to be a good person and "fight the good fight", but I'm not perfect and sometimes I feel like no one gets me and sometimes I don't even get myself. Pinky got me. I have chills. And I am sooooooooooo thankful. Seriously. So freaking cool.
Texas Tally Rally 2009
Had a blast at Rockin' R Retreats where the 2009 Tally Rally was held. On the way there went to Archiver's and almost pooped my pants it was so awesome. Met a lot of really awesome, talented ladies. Got my drink and pole on. Scrapped a bit. Did dirty things in the corn field. Got some henna done and did some henna. Ate fresh BBQ made by real southern men. Smoked lots of cigarettes. Took lots of pics. Had a great time, man. Want to do it again.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
In Case You Didn't Know....
Cervical Cancer is caused by a virus called HPV.
HPV is a sexually transmitted virus. At least 50% of the sexually active population has HPV.
A person can have HPV even if they haven't had sex in YEARS.
If you have sex or any kind of sexual contact (intercourse in not necessary) with someone who has HPV without protection, you now have HPV.
Approximately 20 million Americans are currently infected with HPV, and another 6.2 million people become newly infected each year.
About 1% of sexually active adults in the U.S. have genital warts at any one time.
Cervical cancer. The American Cancer Society estimates that in 2008, 11,070 women will be diagnosed with cervical cancer in the U.S.
Other HPV-related cancers are much less common than cervical cancer. The American Cancer Society estimates that in 2008, there will be:
•3,460 women diagnosed with vulvar cancer;
•2,210 women diagnosed with vaginal and other female genital cancers;
•1,250 men diagnosed with penile and other male genital cancers; and
•3,050 women and 2,020 men diagnosed with anal cancer
Just in case you didn't know.
HPV is a sexually transmitted virus. At least 50% of the sexually active population has HPV.
A person can have HPV even if they haven't had sex in YEARS.
If you have sex or any kind of sexual contact (intercourse in not necessary) with someone who has HPV without protection, you now have HPV.
Approximately 20 million Americans are currently infected with HPV, and another 6.2 million people become newly infected each year.
About 1% of sexually active adults in the U.S. have genital warts at any one time.
Cervical cancer. The American Cancer Society estimates that in 2008, 11,070 women will be diagnosed with cervical cancer in the U.S.
Other HPV-related cancers are much less common than cervical cancer. The American Cancer Society estimates that in 2008, there will be:
•3,460 women diagnosed with vulvar cancer;
•2,210 women diagnosed with vaginal and other female genital cancers;
•1,250 men diagnosed with penile and other male genital cancers; and
•3,050 women and 2,020 men diagnosed with anal cancer
Just in case you didn't know.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Adding Insult to Injury
My BIL has started "dating". I really don't have a problem with what he does as an adult. I know people have needs. I also know that he and this "girl" as he calls her knew each other before my sister died.. My sister made mention of her to a family member. She was not happy about my BIL being in contact with this person.
Not only is he dating, but he is taking my niece out with them. Introducing my niece, his daughter, to this person. And this person has been around the house, possibly LIVING there. This person has a baby. What woman in her right mind would touch him with a ten-foot-pole right now? And who introduces their kids to people they are dating? I don't give a shit who she is, she could be the fucking queen of fuckign England, she should not be around my niece at all rigt now. Taking it slow. Bullshit. My sister hasn't been dead for FOUR months. And he says he fell out of love with her two years ago as if that makes it so much better. No surprise.
No wonder he wanted my Mom out of there so fast. He complained and whined about my Mom being there. No one could figure out why he would toss out the Grandmother of his child, and some of his only help in such a way. Now we know why. My Mom has said that this person has been around before to DO HER LAUNDRY. Ugh. My niece has been knowing this person only a month after her MOTHER DIED.
We wondered why it was that our family was cut off from them. Why he never called. We now know why. It's because he didn't want anyone to know. And if all of this is so OK, why hide it? Why not just come out and say it? Because I am not one to keep my mouth shut. Because he doesn't want to hear from me that he and his daughter need help. In so many more ways than one. But he refuses to see it. And he refuses to get help. My niece has not been to bereavement counseling and I doubt if she is still in individual counseling. What counselor is going to tell him that this is ok for his daughter?
He has taken all pictures down of my sister. My niece will forget her. She is so young it will not be hard to do. And so what is happening now? He has replaced my sister with someone who obviously can't make good decisions otherwise why would she be there? this just reiterates the fact that he needs major help. His needs are coming first and not my nieces. The only one who will suffer in the long run from all of this is his daughter. There is no way that if he is dating someone, he can be putting my niece first. There is no way.
I have seen first hand and have heard from people not even in the family that my niece is out of control. That she needs help. Why are they not getting the help they need? Oh, that's right, they don't need help- they are fine. Bollocks. She is 6 years old. I wish someone would start caring about her in all of this. Why do I seem to be the only adult who is speaking on her behalf?
So what happens if this "relationship" doesn't work out? Has anyone thought about how that might impact her? No, of course not.
I am just shocked and disgusted by all this and I can't believe that this is happening.
Not only is he dating, but he is taking my niece out with them. Introducing my niece, his daughter, to this person. And this person has been around the house, possibly LIVING there. This person has a baby. What woman in her right mind would touch him with a ten-foot-pole right now? And who introduces their kids to people they are dating? I don't give a shit who she is, she could be the fucking queen of fuckign England, she should not be around my niece at all rigt now. Taking it slow. Bullshit. My sister hasn't been dead for FOUR months. And he says he fell out of love with her two years ago as if that makes it so much better. No surprise.
No wonder he wanted my Mom out of there so fast. He complained and whined about my Mom being there. No one could figure out why he would toss out the Grandmother of his child, and some of his only help in such a way. Now we know why. My Mom has said that this person has been around before to DO HER LAUNDRY. Ugh. My niece has been knowing this person only a month after her MOTHER DIED.
We wondered why it was that our family was cut off from them. Why he never called. We now know why. It's because he didn't want anyone to know. And if all of this is so OK, why hide it? Why not just come out and say it? Because I am not one to keep my mouth shut. Because he doesn't want to hear from me that he and his daughter need help. In so many more ways than one. But he refuses to see it. And he refuses to get help. My niece has not been to bereavement counseling and I doubt if she is still in individual counseling. What counselor is going to tell him that this is ok for his daughter?
He has taken all pictures down of my sister. My niece will forget her. She is so young it will not be hard to do. And so what is happening now? He has replaced my sister with someone who obviously can't make good decisions otherwise why would she be there? this just reiterates the fact that he needs major help. His needs are coming first and not my nieces. The only one who will suffer in the long run from all of this is his daughter. There is no way that if he is dating someone, he can be putting my niece first. There is no way.
I have seen first hand and have heard from people not even in the family that my niece is out of control. That she needs help. Why are they not getting the help they need? Oh, that's right, they don't need help- they are fine. Bollocks. She is 6 years old. I wish someone would start caring about her in all of this. Why do I seem to be the only adult who is speaking on her behalf?
So what happens if this "relationship" doesn't work out? Has anyone thought about how that might impact her? No, of course not.
I am just shocked and disgusted by all this and I can't believe that this is happening.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
OK
Feeling a *little* better... Trying to take a few steps back. Too involved. Just so busy. Not enough hours in the dy. Issues. Setbacks. So tired. Exhausted. Working. Hair. Trembling. I am just scared. Losing confidence. Fast and slow. Angry and happy. I am a Mom. I have to be here.I am so tired. Wondering if I can do this for very much longer and wondering what is going to give. Decisions.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Just not
Just not equipped to handle this.
Just not ready for this.
Just not something I ever thought I would let happen to my child.
Just not something I can let go.
Just not what I needed right now.
Just not fair to my child.
Just not helping me want to be close to anyone.
Just not ready for this.
Just not something I ever thought I would let happen to my child.
Just not something I can let go.
Just not what I needed right now.
Just not fair to my child.
Just not helping me want to be close to anyone.
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